Anyways, after Max' disappearance, we immediately change scenes. Why? I don't know why, convenience I guess..
And now we cut back to Earth, and we see.. A woman? Who is this woman? Is she drunk? What is this she is watching? Wait... The TV decided that it was such a boring programme it started to distort itself, forcing this woman to get up and try to change channel. Dave? Dave Bowman from the first movie? Why is Dave on TV and talking to this woman? Oh, it’s his wife! Sure, that was obvious. Wait, Dave is alive? No? Yes? “Dave is a part of me”? So it’s not Dave? Is it… The Saint? The Chameleon? Who was that saying goodbye to the woman? What was the point of that?!
Back at the ship, they do something they seem to love to do in this movie, discussing. They discuss what this Monolith is.
You tell me... What IS that thing? For me... It looks like a blank domino chip.
Oh and HAL is back, the machine with 32 GB of douchbag module! Wait? So, the white house made HAL a douche? HAL, a machine, became paranoid? What?! Let me get this straight… The American White House, gave orders to HAL to lie, which HAL couldn’t, since he’s programmed to be good and that made him paranoid?
Want me to repeat that? The National Security Counsil at the White House gave orders to HAL to lie about the knowledge of the Monolith in the first movie, and since HAL is incapable of lying, it made him paranoid. And his Anti-Virus spiked and gave a false positive on the humans, deeming them a hazard to the system.
I think half of my brain just melted. And now war has broken out between USA and Russia, on Earth that is, and they have to leave the Russian ship and go into the original ship. The one with HAL, I think they’re fucked. And now Dave is haunting the ship, and shapeshifting? He is old, young, weird, where is this going to end? Abe Lincoln will pilot the ship? Uhm.. This movie confuses me.
Yes, just like politics confused Bush... Aww poor us..
Anyways.. Let's see.. Dave haunts the ship. Dave tells them to leave in two days, and then turns into a baby. And no, I am not talking about him acting like a baby he actually turns into this:
Is it a wonder my brain is slush? Aaaaaw, I want my brain back!! I can't think without my brain. Excuse me, I will now go watch the news and get a grip of reality..
------------------------------- Five minutes later------------------------------------------------------------
Reality is horrible, people killing left and right.. I'm jumping right into the movie again..
Let's see.. Where were we? Ah! The crew are going to get the eff out, since Baby/Dave/Old Man/Whatever told them to. And they have to use HAL to get out of there, but he is being his manipulative self and trying to get them to stay. Yes, guys stay in danger. And HAL saves the day!! HAL saves the day? HAL? Uhm, I was taught to hate him in the first movie, now you’re telling me he’s a hero? No no no no no!
Let's just try to get through this now... Dave haunts HAL, and tells HAL to repeat after him. He is sending a message to earth, dunno what it says. And now Jupiter exploded, because of the monolith thingy. I think… So practically, Dave/Baby/Monolith tells the world that:
"All these worlds are yours, except Europa. Attempt no landing there. Use them together, Use them in peace."
And HAL ensured peace on earth.
The movie ends with earth having to Suns, since Jupiter exploded, it became a sun......... Don't ask..
All I can say is that, there’s a lot of things that leave me confused, and especially with how I felt after 2001, I couldn’t stand HAL and now he is depicted as a hero. Why did Dave return as a shapeshifter? What happened to Max? Did he die or did he become a part of the monolith like Dave did? And how could that one message ensure peace on earth? Are the books this confusing? Why am I a big question mark?
Will I ever get answers? Why does this…
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Oh my god. 2010.. Folks... It's... Full of stars.
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